Suburb pusher

September 17, 2010 1 Comment by Aleisha

I have officially jumped on the bandwagon of suburb peer pressure.

I’ve found an area that I like to live in and I push and promote it to everyone and anyone that will listen. It lacks regular confrontation with prostitutes and junkies like my old suburb….it has a trendy café right next door that is filled to the brim with hipsters….which panics me but I’ve gotten over it and we are surrounded by plenty of much hyped restaurants and bars that one day we might get around to visiting.

Some friends of ours are on the hunt for a new rental. They are looking in my suburb and another less interesting, less exciting, less appealing to me, suburb.

I of course am wearing them down with email like this hoping that they will just cave in and move to my suburb.

Hey Guys,
This weekend at MY SUBURB some edgy faux bohemian people
are putting on a street festival.
There will be food and entertainment and booze and
light projection and people with clipboards asking you
to sign some petition about a car park or a no through road
and pretend hippies that are really private school educated graphic
designers, who wear watches that are worth more than my car
...fuck look ok, the street festival’s only once a year
and to be honest someone will probably do something illegal
and the residence of my suburb will have it shut down by 2pm…
and it will never happen again… but at least there’s promise
of some sort of culture… even if it is run by Starbucks.
The suburb you want to live in his surrounded by high-rise
buildings and salary men and you could kill someone there on
the weekend and the body wouldn’t be found until Monday.
That’s sad. At least there’s heaps of cops in my suburb.
Love Leish

I thought my hunt for the perfect place had reached an orgasmic climax when I found an apartment that was titled “New York Style Loft”
That’s pretty specific and I’m not going to lie, I was excited. I was feeling confident and cocky, imagining our  first visit. We’d take a bottle of wine and some cakes from the overpriced non culture specific European bakery on the corner.

A “New York Style Loft”. Exactly what I needed to convince my friends that MY SUBURB was for them.


Hey real estate agents or should I call you shatterers of dreams.

Go jump.

The only ‘New York’ these people have  possibly ever seen was Friends and even then none of the cast lived in a flat with a bunk bed.

Come on real estate agents.


The hunt continues.

One Comment

  1. Kez
    4 years ago

    Haha, I’m a suburb pusher too. But to no avail. My friends all live in a new suburb that backs onto train lines, with sand storms everywhere and bogans. Oh the bogans. At least in my suburb the bogans pretend to be non bogans (even though we all know the truth).

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